So You Think You Can Dance has inspired another Mount Rushmore list, this time featuring the very best of the very worst music videos that involve dancing. As a young boy that grew up in the 80's I've seen more than my fair share of bad music videos. Even worse, I've seen just as many terrible dance themed music videos. So since bad dance music videos deserves their own separate list, I give you "The Mt. Rushmore of Bad Dance Music Videos" list:
DAVID BOWIE & MICK JAGGER "DANCING IN THE STREETS" It is never a good sign when a six-year-old kid comments to his siblings on how horrible the dancing in this music video is... The year was 1986 and I was that poor unfortunate six-year-old kid. After suffering through this video again, I have a few questions. I know this was made for Live Aid to raise money for Africa, but I have to know: Whose idea was it to make this music video?! As a connoisseur of music, I refuse to believe David Bowie or Mick Jagger had anything to do with it. It seems more reasonable to think they were both forced against their will at knife point by Bob Geldof & the needy children of Africa. I love the fact that Mick Jagger felt okay about taking a drink of soda pop (1:33) with cameras rolling mid video shoot while Ethiopian children everywhere were starving. It also leads me to ask: Was this video shot in one take? Well, one take or not, if you are anything like me, you'll find yourself watching this music video and repeatedly catch yourself saying, "The tension is killing me, kiss already!" The personal space barrier is breached pretty early and often in this video, so it begs the question: How long into filming was it before they accidentally had sex? I still can't believe such a video exists. Arguably two of the most influential musicians of all time got together and this of all things was the outcome?! This would have been a career killer for almost any other music icons. The 80's had the same effect as crack cocaine: no matter the celebrity or musician, no one was safe; it nearly destroyed anything it touched. So If a video was shot in a London dockland and 25 years later is nearly forgotten about, does it still exist?
ROD STEWART "SOME GUYS HAVE ALL THE LUCK" Some guys have all the luck and some guys should stick to singing. This video is a perfect example that it is never a good idea to do your own choreography, especially if you are Scottish and can't dance to begin with. Why, may I ask, is he wearing bright red, attention grabbing shoes? As if the dancing in this music video wasn't painfully unavoidable enough already, someone on set had to know within the first few minutes that this was going to be a colossally bad idea. After watching the on-set playback of this video in the making, even Rod must have known it wasn't a good idea pass on his genetic code. The "dancing" in this video is so stiff and uncoordinated that Rod Stewart makes Ronald Miller aka Dr. McDreamy look like Fred Astaire. On that note, if I never see this music video again it will be too soon.
BILLY SQUIRE "ROCK ME TONIGHT" If this is your first time seeing this video I apologize on behalf of myself and Billy Squire. I think I will keep all of my many thoughts to myself on this one, the pink satin tank top speaks for itself.
DAVID HASSELHOFF "HOOKED ON A FEELING" Pure visual ipecac. Wearing an Eskimo suit and jumping with Aborigines?! Seriously?! How did Green Screen Technology ever survive this hijacking? Do German's still love David Hasselhoff? The guy has a hard enough time eating a hamburger. How was it ever a good idea to have him no-hand-standing a motorcycle, let alone letting "The Hoff" get in front of a green screen?
DISHONORABLE MENTION:
JOURNEY "SEPARATE WAYS (WORLDS APART)" When it comes down to it there just isn't enough dancing in this video to justify putting it on the list.
HONORABLE MENTION:
FAT BOY SLIM "WEAPON OF CHOICE" (FEATURING CHRISTOPHER WALKEN) This music video should be used as the blueprint for all future dance videos. It has to rank up there with "Thriller" as one of the greatest dance music videos of all time.
"You're talking to me all wrong... It's the wrong tone. You do it again and I'll stab you in the face with a soldering iron. Hey, tell me, does your mother sew? BOOM. Get her to sew that!"
Why are the wives of America so insistent on destroying their precious husband's health and will to live week after week? It seems like the ultimate oxymoron: they get baby hungry and constantly want more children, yet they turn a blind eye to the well documented fact that the Mayo Clinic lists the viewing of So You Think You Can Dance as the number one offender on the list of things that will make you sterile. So thanks to my dear, sweet, loving, selfless wife I am now on fertility medication and have to endure the constant bombardment of So You Think You Can Dance to my home television, sacred DVR space, sanity, and most importantly, my soul. So after nearly being driven to the bottle, I am fighting back in the only way I know how. I have been stockpiling quotes and will be adding a weekly "So You Wish You Were Dead Quote of The Week" section to my blog. Here is this weeks quote:
"This dance is crazy, crazy, fast. It's about two mystical creatures who one moment in a year become human and rejoice!"
Anytime you are discussing a topic as uncomfortable as "The Man Crush" I think it's best to keep it as brief as possible. So I intend to do just that, but aside from writing, producing, hosting and practically resurrecting one of the best and funniest shows on TV, (The Soup), Joel McHale has plenty other resume builders that make him worthy of this month's man crush. Here are some quick facts you may or may not know:
Joel Mchale stands 6'4" and was a walk-on tight end for The University of Washington Huskies football team. He Is currently staring in a sitcom along side Chevy Chase called "Community" which is pretty funny and definitely worth checking out. (Thanks Seth & Chrissy)
With the exception of habitually wearing super slim ties he is one of the best, if not the best dressed host on television today. Also in recent years he has gotten pretty ripped and now has pecks bigger than my head.
Joel should be considered the poster child for all men with thinning and or receding hairlines, (like myself), on how to embrace and style your hair. In addition to all his other roles he is also a successful stand-up comedian and is further proof that you don't need to rely on annoying, overdramatic physical comedy to make your act.. Dane Cook anyone? He had a supporting role in one of my favorite films of 2009, the grossly underrated The Informant! Maybe the best thing Joel brings to the table is his weekly onslaught of reality show, lowlife, trendy celebrities like Paris Hilton, The Hills cast, Jon & Kate Gosselin, the Kardashian's, and of course, his distaste for Ryan Seacrest.
Joel Mchale is one of the proud few taking up arms in the fight against Hollywood's finest tabloid fodder. And for that, he is this month's Man Crush.
It is a well known fact that I live in the very house that happens to be at the central connecting point of three local suburban cities known only as the "Bermuda Triangle". In this small triangular vortex (which oddly enough only includes my house) nothing is safe, not even simple cell phone service, even commercial air flights passing over head have even been known to briefly lose radio communications... okay I made up that last part, but I'm sure it's happened. It doesn't matter if you have Verizon, AT&T, T-mobile, or a Zack Morris brick phone, it is next to impossible to complete a phone call. Any and all cellular phone calls attempted in this relatively tiny black hole are immediately dropped within the first few seconds, whether you are upstairs or downstairs it really makes no difference, there is little to no reception to be found. The "BT" does however allow just enough signal that you can see who is calling and allows the caller to leave a voice mail, even though I have no way to check the voice mail. The "BT" however, magnanimously allows me to send and receive all the text and picture messages I desire if only from one or two specific locations. So with that said, you can see that being able to communicate though text messages is my lifeblood and outside of the Internet it is the way I've been forced to communicate with friends & family 99% of the time. I can't begin to tell you how awesome text messaging is; in fact, it's so amazing that it deserves its own blog post, and it has to rank high in the conversation of greatest modern inventions of our time. Still knowing all this, it's funny how many times friends and family members either forget, or figure I'm not at home, and decide to give me a call. What's not funny is the voicemail responses that I often get, things like, "call me.", "call me back.", "this is ___, call me.", or "dude, give me a quick call." My phone already lets me know that I missed your call, so if that's all you had to say could you not have just sent it to me as a text message? A text message in this situation would without question be easier and less time consuming for both parties and at this point is just plain common sense. It is 2010. If you don't have a text messaging plan or you don't know how to use text messaging, it is time to ask yourself why. Anyway, this is a daily problem for not only me, but as you can imagine it's just as big of an issue for my wife as well, so when she saw this hilarious Lance Armstrong commercial she immediately brought it to my attention.
It seems like no matter how many new sitcoms get added to the TV lineup every year, it just gets harder and harder to find one worthy of your time. You would think that in the modern age of technology and television with all of the thousands of channels now available to choose from that not only should it be effortless to find, but there should be more quality sitcoms than you could ever possibly have the time to record, let alone watch. In the endless sea of reality TV shows, sitcoms are quickly becoming the odd man out. Even worse, they look to be going the way of the dinosaur. It is in these moments of deep despair, when I feel I have left no stone unturned that I look to my Pepperdine educated friend of almost 15 years. Besides being a highly regarded attorney at law, DJ also has an uncanny knack at finding needles in the haystack when it comes to TV sitcoms. He is the same person that recommended The Office (UK) to me a few years ago, which just so happens to be without a doubt one of the greatest/underrated TV series of all time.
It was upon hearing of my most recent predicament that he referred me to It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia. I don't want to overhype it for you, so I'll keep it brief, but in the short time I have been watching it I have yet to view a sub par or even mediocre episode. It is a well written, well acted, hilarious TV series that doesn't make the mistake of being heavy handed with any one certain character like a lot of sitcoms. It is more than worth your time and coveted DVR space. Along with airing on FX channel, it is now in syndication on Comedy Central and can be seen in a two hour block every monday night. Do yourself a favor at set up your DVR to start recording it this week.
Entertainment Weekly ranks the 100 greatest characters of the last 20 years. How does arguably the greatest TV character of all time, George Costanza, not make the top ten?! He was left off the list completely. There are so many things wrong with list it deserves its own blog.
-Do you want to be reminded how much you hate grocery shopping? I am probably the last to find out about this website, but for those of you who have no soul here you go.
-Can't get enough Tracy Mogan/ Jordan? Me either, Here is everything he said on 30 Rock this season.
-Much like Kanye West, I realize John Mayer has made it nearly impossible to like him. Maybe, just maybe, since this is a Bruce Springsteen song we can rationalize and say it is okay to listen to just this once.
-After 3 long years after the release of one of the greatest albums of the decade, 2007's Neon Bible, Arcade Fire's new album comes out Aug. 2.
-Have you ever wanted to know the exact specs of John Malkovich's home made plastic gun he used for his attempt to assassinate the President in the movie In the Line of Fire? How about any other gun in any other movie for that matter? Well thanks to this website you will want no longer. It is just like IMDB.com, only it focuses on the instruments of death you originally paid to see before that whole plot thing got in the way and ruined the experience.
-Apparently The Utah Jazz still quite haven't found the white player they are looking for yet. My favorite part of the article is in the title: "Utah Jazz might surprise..."
-Have you seen these abominations?
I think the rough translation of this ad is: "Now dead beat dads can receive pictures of their daughters classing up our city streets with short shorts at an even earlier age". I've been saying for years that it's never too early for a young, impressionable, child to start wearing Daisy Duke jeans. Upon reading this blog, if you find yourself saying, "I have to get these for my baby", do me a favor and add TLC's Toddlers and Tiaras to your DVR right now. Also lovingly explain to your child that you won't be seeing them in heaven.
Currently On my DVR I have The Ricky Gervais Show, ESPN's 30 for 30 series, Austin City Limits, Curb Your Enthusiasm, The Soup, Intervention, 30 Rock and The Haney Project. What's on your DVR? Am I missing something I should be recording? Leave a comment. Ps. I promise an elbow drop off the top ropes for any comedians that leave me a comment telling me to add So You Think You Can Dance to my DVR!
As promised, Drew and I spent the better part of a perfectly good weekend texting back and forth, all while I managed to do the dishes and wash bottles multiple times, attend my brothers graduation, play with my daughter, watch a movie with my wife, prepare and teach a lesson in church, hang out with family, eat, run, shower, etc. Text messaging may be the best invention since Gutenberg's printing press. Anyway, here it is...
POp! (11:09am): Welcome! Thanks for taking the time to be my 1st "Celebrity" text interview. Take as much time as you need to answer; you're a busy man so no rush. That's the beauty of text messaging.
Drew (11:14am): Great to be here.
POp! (11:15am): You are six months older than I am. Why did you have chest hair and 6 pack abs by the time you were 12, yet I didn't hit puberty until 10 years later?
Drew (11:17am): To answer your fist question I would have to say it was your steady diet of penny candies from Scott's Market that delayed your growth spurt. My chest hairs are, of course, due to the Italian genes in me and the six pack just showed up one day when I woke up... scared the hell outta me at first.
POp! (11:22am): If Scott wouldn't have had one foot in the grave and the other foot on a banana peel already way back then I'd be suing his polyester pants off right now.
POp! (11:22am): By the time we were 7 or 8 years old we were already die hard wrasslin fans. If you were born in, say, 1992 and were an 8 year old today, do you think you would be a wrestling fan?
Drew (12:07pm): The only way I could be born in 1992 and be eight now was if i had the ship from Flight of the Navigator, but if I was a kid now.. I want to say yes. Probably not as die hard though. I think we were growing up at the same time as wrestling. When we were little the big names were all guys that were larger than life. It was like a comic book playing out in front of us. We had super heroes like Hulk Hogan and the Ultimate Warrior fighting for good. That's when wrestling came more into the spotlight, during our generation. So as we got older wrestling had to, as well, to keep the fan base it had gotten in the 80's. Enter the "attitude era." The time of super heroes was over, now we were punk kids looking to rebel and throw the middle finger at any and every authority that was around us. This gave rise to the great stars of the 90's: Stone Cold, DX, and the Rock to name a few. Good & bad was no longer black & white. I think wrestling these days appeals to an older audience and leaves little room for children like it did in the 80's. We probably would still be die hard fans, just not until our teens.
POp!(12:14): Ah, I should try to bankrupt a casino because I am a "ra-tard." Thanks for reading between the lines and making sense of my math. Obviously I meant 2002.
POp! (12:16pm): That kind of leads me into my next question. I know Hulk Vs. Warrior is way up there on my list. What's on your list of favorite wrestling moment or moments of all time?
Drew (12:27pm): Warrior vs. Hogan is up there. First time you put the two biggest "faces" in the ring together, split the fans in two... genius! Hogan slamming Andre the Giant was epic, Hogan becoming a "heel" and the whole nWo story line... Well the first few months of it. Macho Man and Elizabeth getting back together was awesome. When Yokozuna killed Jake the Snake's snake. Shawn Michaels vs. Razor Ramon first ladder match. Just to name a few.
POp! (12:34pm): Was it Yokozuna's fat ace or Earthquake that killed Damien? I think it was Earthquake, no?
Drew (12:36pm): You are right it was Earthquake. I even pictured it.. no idea why I said Yokozuna.
POp!(12:38pm): So to piggyback on your comment about the "attitude era," who would you give the most credit for starting that era of wrestling? Possibly Stone Cold Steve Austin and everyone else including The Rock just hopped on the bandwagon?
Drew (12:41pm): I would give the credit to Stone Cold, DX (Degeneration X), and The Rock. Stone Cold was meant to be the ultimate heel and people just latched onto him. The Rock tried the baby face routine and it didn't get him far so he became a heel by joining up with Vince McMahon and becoming the Corporate Champ. I would honestly give DX most of the credit because they were already bringing their crude and smart ass routine in when the others were starting to get big.
POp! (12:44pm): I never thought of it as the fans deserving the credit and not a certain wrestler. So the fans just latched on to the idea and it was a generational thing, not so much a well marketed idea by a wrestler or the wrestling brass?
Drew (12:45pm): Oh no, it was well marketed alright. They just realized that teenagers and college students had money to spend and they grew with their fans.
POp! (12:46pm): Okay, your most overrated and most underrated wrestlers?
Drew (12:52pm): Overrated I would have to say Sgt. Slaughter. I will never forget his foot stomp off the second rope into a front turn.. I still laugh about it. Underrated would go to Mr. Perfect Curt Henning. Bret Hart was probably the only wrestler in history that could match Curt henning in the ring for technical ability. He made such a great heel. You just loved to hate the guy. He should have had a lot more spotlight in my opinion.
POp! (1:04pm): I totally forgot about the Sgt. Slaughter boot stomp turn. Freaking classic. I have to agree with Mr. Perfect Curt Henning as top on the underrated list. I was too young to understand how hilarious he and Bobby "The Brain" Heenan were together. Add his technical ability, along with the fact that I am almost positive he was the first to wear the overall/shorts style tights that Rob Van Dam and other guys are wearing now.
POp! (1:05pm): Where does Ravishing Rick Rude fit on your underrated list?
Drew (1:07pm): That was actually the other person I thought of. Toss up between the two.
POp! (1:15pm): Speaking of Bobby "The Brain"... Taking everything into consideration, who is on your list of best managers of all time? Don't look past Mr. Fuji and his cane.
Drew (1:21pm): Bobby "The Brain," Paul Bearer, and the "Mouth of the South" Jimmy Hart. Jimmy Hart would be number one though, with Heenan a close second.
POp! (1:28pm): Since we've been talking about Mr. Perfect and Rick Rude, have you seen any of the dead wrestler memorial video's on Youtube? Also what are your thoughts and reaction to all the young dead wrestlers?
Drew (1:31pm): Yeah, its sad. They live a really hard lifestyle: on the road over 300 days a year, not to mention the pounding you get in the ring daily. Throw steroids into the mix and your heart just isn't going to last you through the years. Wrestling may be choreographed but it sure as hell isn't fake.
POp! (1:34pm): How much of the blame and criticism should go to Vince Mcmahon for all the deaths?
Drew (2:40pm): I would say partial blame for sure. Even if he didn't hand them the pills, he created and enviorment that made these guys strive for perfection while hammering their bodies and not having a strict policy against substance abuse.
POp! (2:47pm): Would you say that fans were as much to blame?
Drew (2:58pm): I don't thinks so. The fans were a different breed back then. We cheered for characters, not (just) the biggest or strongest.
POp! (3:04pm): Do you still follow wrestling? If so how closely?
Drew (3:06pm): Not really, more of a passing interest now and then. I watch the Hall of Fame induction each year, but that's about it.
POp! (3:08pm): Top 3 wrestlers then, and top 3 now?
Drew (3:22pm): Ric Flair, Hulk Hogan and Bret Hart, in that order. Now is Undertaker, Triple H, and Shawn Michaels.. Take your pick on the order of the second and third place. Taker is first though, no doubt.
POp! (3:41pm): You were in the wrestling circuit. Is it the life on the road that made you quit the business?
(Legend Superfly Jimmy Snuka & Drew after he won the US Title)
Drew (3:47pm): No. For me it was the politics of a new promoter that came around. He wanted all the wrestlers to sign a contract that basically gave him rights to any money you ever made in the wrestling business.
POp! (3:50pm): Last year we met at the Broadway theatre in downtown SLC to watch the film, The Wrestler. As a former wrestler what did you think?
Drew (4:01pm): Very, very well done and accurate. I met a lot of my childhood heroes while wrestling and while it was really cool to meet them it was an eye opener to see guys that have sold out Madison Square Garden now being paid to wrestle in warehouses and high school gyms.
POp! (4:09pm): Speaking of wrestling movies, is there a better opening scene to any movie than the opening scene in No Holds Barred (55 seconds into the video). The doors open and all you see is a grunting Hulk Hogan's hair, sweat, and spit flying for a a few solid seconds. Classic.
Drew (4:16pm): Awesome opening scene, no denying it.
POp! (4:24pm): Have you ever watched So You Think You Can Dance? What do you think of my wife's controversial analogy?
Drew (4:59pm): No I haven't... Nor will I. Her analogy was OK... but she forgot to lump in The bachelor, The Hills, and Dancing With the Stars. 3 to 1 odds in their favor if you ask me.
POp! (6:16pm): Well said. How crazy is it that the Iron Shiek's out-of-the-ring legacy has surpassed his in-the-ring legacy? My favorite Shiek story has to be the Marty Jannetty video that has since been removed off of Youtube.
Drew (6:37pm): Its Awesome! I love hearing Sheik Stories.
POp! (6:41pm): Okay its come the much anticipated time to select the ugliest outfits in the history of pro wrestling. So do we want to do this Vegas poker rules like usual or a reverse draft style saving the best picks for last?
Drew (7:15pm): I kind of like the idea of a draft.
ROUND 1
POp! (8:56pm): For the first round I select Koko B. Ware. For being one of the few black men in wrestling at the time, the "Bird Man" sure brought alot of the wrong kind of attention to himself.
Drew (9:02pm): Yes he did. My first round pick will also be a black man... I choose Mabel and his lovely garbage bag outfit. Add to that the bleached white hair, white eye contact and you've got a whole recipe for wrongness.
ROUND 2
POp! (9:15pm): I Just started laughing here in the cereal isle. For the second round I select Bob "Spark Plug" Holly and his childrens racing pajamas meets Freddy Mercury unitard with built in knee pads. Gentlemen start your gag reflex.
Drew (9:30pm): I had to pull over from laughing too hard. Excellent pick. In keeping with the car theme, my next choice will be the Repo Man and his roadkill inspired treads.. I mean threads.
ROUND 3
POp! (9:44pm): For the third round I am going to the tag team division and selecting The New Hart Foundation/ High Energy. If a 50's malt shop diner and an 80's music video got together and had a baby it would come out of the womb wearing these.
The next day...
Drew (12:16pm): Both of the tag teams that I'm thinking are ones that have members that already made our list. I would have to say Men on a Mission because my other pick is too similar to yours.
ROUND 4
POp! (12:29pm): Okay, for the 4th round I'm going with the "American Dream" Dusty Rhoades and his equally offensive arm candy Sapphire.
Drew (12:34): No explanation needed for this next pick: Crush.
ROUND 5
POp! (12:58): Does his hair count as part of his attire?! For my fifth round selection I choose Randy "Macho Man" Savage. It's like he couldn't decide on one ugly outfit scheme so instead decided to combine all 12 into one outfit. "OH YEAH these are ugly!"
Drew (9:13pm): The Giant Gonzalez. Thats right. Drawn on muscles with accompanied fur.
ROUND 6 THE FINAL ROUND
POp! (9:15pm): Final pick: "Double J" Jeff Jarrett. I have a few questions. Was there not more room to fit anymore sets of his initials on his body?! I'm still unsure of what his initials are. How did the 12 thread suspenders that connect at the neck not catch on to other wrestlers and the general public?! If you were to ask me what I think Satan & Adolf Hitler wear on casual fridays I think it has to be these.
Drew (9:20pm): After much deliberation and a day of fasting and prayer, I have found my final pick. As my last selection I choose Mantaur.
POp! (9:31pm): I am adding Harlem Heat and Brutus "The Barber" Beefcake to the draft as my honorable mention.
This 90's match includes two of the top ugliest outfits of all time, many in attendance are now blind. This picture may be the Mona Lisa of ugly wrestling outfits.
Next day...
Drew (2:31pm): I wanted to make my final last minute pick who simaultaneously had a horrendous outfit and probably the worst gimmick in wrestling history: Bastion Booger.
POp! (2:45pm): With that final pick, it's over and done with. I may never be able to eat again. I speak for all when I say thank you for joining me for the first of many "Celebrity" Text Interviews to come. Any final comments?
Drew (3:01pm): Thank you for the great conversation. I would just like to say that I hope the WWE goes into another Attitude Era soon so that another generation of kids can have the great memories that we grew up with. Good luck with watching your wife's favorite show ;)
This interview reminds me how little I actually get to talk to my closest friends like Drew & the Fancy Lads, DJ, Mike or the Davenport Sisters. One of the hard things about growing up is how difficult it is to stay close; its one of the few things parents don't warn you about. Friends you saw almost everyday from the time you were five you start to see less frequently and slowly loose contact as school, work, dating, marriage, and family & kids all come into the picture and take priority. Things like text messaging, Facebook and blogs have all made it easier to stay connected with the limited time you have as an adult, but you start to finally realize it will never be quite the same as it once was. I love my friends and in a lot of ways they have become my family. I think close lifetime friends are the family you actually get to choose.
When I was a kid wrestling was different. There were few things better than staying up and watching Saturday Night's Main Event, Or getting up early on saturday mornings to watch Superstars of Wrestling. The 80's and early 90's WWF was an entirely different animal than what wrestling is today. You could barely find it on TV and even in the miracle that you did find it, you never got to see superstars wrestle. No titles ever changed hands. That was saved for Pay Per View events only. So the only thing you usually got to to see was a "superstar" beat up on jobbers like this: The best was when there would be a tag team match of "superstars" vs. two random jobbers paired up together who you knew had never previously met, let alone ever wrestled together before, and it showed. They were there for the sole purpose of being warm bodies wearing tights for the stars to beat up on and ultimately pin. I used this same formula to transform my little sister into a jobber named Princess Pink basically so I had someone to beat up and practice my wrestling moves on when my friends couldn't play. Her joints and equilibrium have never been quite right since. Sorry Celeste.
Sex and steroids were out, and big, sweaty, fat guys like this were in and doing pretty well for themselves.
Guys like this didn't exist.
Back then this guy was referred to as "the worlds strongest man."
These clowns were our "superstars."
People paid good money to watch this:
Good guys, or, "faces," were in and chanted "USA!" Bad guys, or, "heels," were out. There was no blurred line between good & bad. There was also nothing you could even accidentally mistake as athleticism. Matches were lethargic and laughably bad. Believe it or not, there was actually constant heated debate on whether it was real or fake. In retrospect, in may have been the ugliest, unintentionally hilarious, waste of time, but what can I say? It was the 80's and besides bad fashion trends, bad music, and even worse hair, there wasn't a whole lot going on. Wrestling has only gotten worse, much, much worse.
So on May 27th, to comemmerate another little piece of me dying, and the start of another season of So You Think You Can Dance, (aka, the female equivalent of professional wrestling), I will be contacting this blog's official advisor on all things "wrasslin". I will be catching up with Draven, a former amateur wrestler, pro wrestling historian, and friend of 25+ years, for my first "Celebrity Text Interview". I will get his thoughts on my wife's controversial theory and debate the ugliest Pro Wrestling outfits of all time.
